feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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