I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
