Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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