so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
