I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
