if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
