I am puke
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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