I'm eating all of the evidence.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
