Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
