you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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