At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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