Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize