p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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