ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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