She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Couch. On fire.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
