Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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