better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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