Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
