he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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