It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize