How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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