New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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