Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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