My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
