once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
