i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
