he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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