Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
