Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
