the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
