he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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