Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
