Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize