i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
