ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
