Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
