oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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