what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
