Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
