Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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