i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i need some magic done to my vagina
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
