Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Don't make out with my wife yet
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
