Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
