I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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