We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
