Small penises have feelings too.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
