I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Quick, to the slutcave!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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