I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
where are my eyebrows?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
