No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
