I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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