Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
