I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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