lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
