He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
