She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
