YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
