i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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