According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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