so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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