So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
