Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
