my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
