yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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