dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do vagina's smell?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
