Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
