david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
