I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
