just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
