I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
